At 11:30 PM, I'm dressed as a clown, delivering a Mazel Tov/Naches congratulatory singing telegram to the Mother of a young bride at her Sheva Brochos. Deceiving apartment; non-descript, typical pre-war building on the outside, and bright, opulent, magnificent grandeur on the inside. A house full of celebrants. Beautiful, smiling women in one room, bewigged in sheitels, dressed to the nines, and serious, pious men in another room in traditional garb, black robes andfur hats ( shtreimel). The Yiddish of these Eastern European Jews flying furiously around the room. My five years of secondary-education German gives me a leg up on what's being said. Lots of pictures, lots of requests to sing it again (sorry, I only sing once!), and taking special care to not touch the women (a big Bozo no-no in this religion!)
I have half-an-hour to get 2 miles north to the other side of the BQE to the hipper, artsier side of Williamsburg, remove the clown make-up and don my priestly garb to sing to a trendy chick who's 40 and equally devout to her "religion", as evidenced by the piercings and the tattooed torso ("running out of skin".. ...I used it to rhyme with the" Siamese twins" she had tattooed on her body, along with Billie Holiday and Josephine Baker!). Joi B. is a published novelist ("Sleeveless"), working on her next novel,and preparing a move to Lawrence, Kansas to move in with her true love, Krysztof N., a pin-up artist (charm-school). I'm hoping they recorded it for YouTube publication. If so, I'll include it on this post at a later date.
****ADDENDUM **** 2/22/09
Received this e-mail from the client this morning in regard to that second delivery in Williamsburg.
Joi keeps a locked Live Journal that only friends can see, but she's already posted there before bed, so here's that impression:
"OH MY GOD! At midnight plus 10, a man rang my doorbell in the midst of my party and I was like, who the fuck is this IRISH PRIEST and dear god, is he gonna commit me to become a Sister Magdeline or something???? The immediate reaction to a priest ringing your bell when you were raised Catholic is, "Oh SHIT, what have I fucking done NOW?????"
Oh heavens, I done got roasted!!!!!!!! It was insane because it included a singing rendition of my entire life, all inclusive of neurosis and love and hate and THIS IS YOUR LIFE, BITCH !!!!!
JESUS CHRIST !!!
When I am sober and awake, I will include a copy of the whole thing!!!
Maybe even the video.
I am so shocked and kinda ecstatic.
I love you Sheena, Christy, and Krysztof...
All kinds of misty-eyed right now, at 5:30 AM.