Valentine's Day past -- circa 2000

Kate A. reminded me today that she's been delivering telegrams for me, on and off, for the past ten years. (although Marty holds the record, having worked for me the longest at around 15 years!) I met Kate A. when I was in a production of "Jacques Brel Is Alive And Well And Living In Paris".

Great voice, great presence, and a great sense of direction ( can't work for me without one!)

She works for me in-between acting gigs. She did a two-year stint out West as Snow White's Wicked Evil Queen/Hag at Disneyland, and  a National Tour of "Mame"  as Mame, among other jobs.

Her very first delivery for me was on Valentine's Day around 1999 or 2000. She delivered to Charlie in Brooklyn. 

Poor Charlie!

Apparently Charlie was messing around on his wife and wasn't keeping his promises to his girlfriend. Clever girlfriend thought she'd move things along a little quicker by sending him a singing red heart on Valentine's Day.........to his house.........while his wife was there!

Now,  I'm not the kind of guy who will take any order just to get the order. I have a system of checks and balances that should ensure all deliveries are legit. And after 27 years, a few sneak through the cracks...very few! And since I deliver, as well, I'm very protective of my messengers. These telegrams are supposed to be for HAPPY occasions. I didn't see this coming. I prefer to think people have good intentions.

Clever girlfriend was crafty, though. Most of the information was innocuous and there was no hint of an ulterior motive in her voice. She just wanted me to mention all the good times, and all the fond memories, the places they'd been etc. What's not to suspect on Valentine's Day?

So Kate A. arrives early in the morning, Charlie's brother-in-law greets her at the door and invites her in. Charlie's wife is standing in the kitchen,  with the frying pan,  ready to cook him breakfast. Charlie is sitting on the couch, motionless, deer-in-headlights look on his face.

Kate begins to sing.  She knew something was wrong, when he sat bolt upright and shot a glance to his wife at a specific point in the song. Kate decided she had sung enough, cut the song short, threw the balloons and chocolates at Charlie,  and mumbled a hasty "Happy Valentine's Day" as Charlie's brother-in-law ushered her out, leaving Charlie's wife standing there............with the frying pan in her hand! All Kate could hear on her way back to her car was Charlie and his wife screaming obscenities at each another.

Maybe Kate A. attracts these kind of deliveries. Another Valentine's Day, she sang to a Dominatrix early in the morning. She learned a valuable lesson: Never wake up a Dominatrix early in the morning!

Kerry  
Preppygrams