(recap of a gaggle of deliveries in mid-July)
A solid week of heat this week, where the temperature hovered in the high 90's - low 100's. Hot doesn't begin to describe it. I wake in the morning chanting "nogorillasorchickenstoday, nogorillasorchickenstoday, nogorillasorchickenstoday"....
But I cheerily book them when they're ordered. It's such an odd feeling, as I step into costume and immediately feel the waterworks of sweat cascading down my back and slosh my way into a room to sing. (So THIS is what Hot Yoga feels like!)
* Had a delivery for a producer at NBC Nightly News. This one was in a tuxedo. Parking is a little bit of a problem in NYC, so you kind of have to find it where it exists and walk to your destination, otherwise you've got to shell out about $20 - $30 to park in a garage in mid-town for an hour. But I found a spot on the street about ten city streets north and three avenues west of 30 Rockefeller Center. Parking was limited to one hour, so I had to make tracks. A 15 minute walk going and a 15 minute walk coming back only gave me about 30 minutes of wiggle room. I don't think I got more than three blocks before my white tuxedo shirt was drenched. I carried my jacket, instead of wearing it. When I got to the building, I looked as if I had melted and asked for ten minutes in the men's room to "dry off". Then I sang to Megan about her craving for Magnolia's Banana Cream Pie and how she's known as the "Obit Queen" around the office. She's the go-to girl whenever a celebrity dies. Upon completion, it was a mad dash back to my car.
* Freddy works for NYC sanitation and lives in Staten Island. He broke his ankle playing basketball in a pick-up game and couldn't work on the trucks, so his friends sent a gorilla/doctor. He felt so sorry for me singing in the heat, he gave me a six-pack of beer.
* David got a pink gorilla in a commercial high rise building in East Rutherford, NJ. He was on the phone when I arrived, so they put me in a conference room to wait.....and wait......and wait...... It had been a very long, hot day. I put my head back in the cool, dark conference room. The next thing I know, someone's nudging me awake. I had fallen asleep in my costume....I have never done that before. This heat sucked all the energy out of me.
* The very next day, I have to sing to a fireman in Paterson, NJ. His wife sent him a cowboy, because he loves cowboys and horses. Just as I show up to the station house, they're called out on an alarm. Bad timing. They were gone for an hour. It was my last delivery of the day, so I didn't mind waiting, and given his job, it's the least I could do. I couldn't hang out in the firehouse, so I waited in my car, windows open and half out of my costume. With the evening heat, humidity, and hot winds blowing, there was no relief. Again, I made the mistake of putting the baseball game on the radio and putting my head back.....damn, if I didn't fall asleep again! Awoke to his wife at my car window, saying, "He's baaaaaaaaaaaaack!"
* Sunny's parents are away and her friends out west in Los Angeles heard she's throwing a big Birthday pool party for herself with her folks out of town. Dressed as a chicken, I felt a kinship to my slaughtered brethren being barbecued on the grill next to me when I entered the backyard. It's probably the only time I would not have minded if someone decided to throw me into the pool. But these costumes are a bitch to dry when wet!
* Carmela works in a laundrymat. Her boss sent her a comic Elvis for her Birthday. Seemed like a pretty cut and dry delivery, until I pulled into the little shopping strip to park my car in the shade and change into my costume. It was right about then that three police cars came tearing into the parking lot with sirens wailing to collar some guy, who I later found out was dealing drugs. It was a stakeout and they pounced hard and fierce. After about a half an hour of waiting for things to settle down, I was eager to get into the laundrymat to sing, so I just stepped out of the car and made my way across the parking lot....dressed as Elvis! It was a very cinematic effect as I walked by the crime scene. I felt as if I was walking in slow motion as all the policemen and the drug dealer stopped what they were doing to turn their heads as I walked by and into the laundrymat.
* And finally....I ended this blistering week with a delivery on High Line Park; the "park in the sky". It's a NYC park built on the former elevated freight railroad spur of the West Side Line from West 12th Street to West 30th. Emi's family and friends were giving her a Bachelorette Party and opted to have me sing to her on the public stroll through the park instead of at the restaurant . After a week's worth of gorillas and chickens in the blistering heat, I "urged" her sister to go with street clothes in lieu of a formalized costume. Better to catch Emi by suprise and have a pedestrian just start singing to her. Apparently, there is some connection to Helen Reddy's "I Am Woman." So after narrowing down which party of ten females walking in party hats and hornblowers was Emi's group, I leapt into song. As I was leaving, I caught part of a couple's conversation behind me. "I don't know, why you don't you ask him?", the woman said. Then, directed at me, I heard, "Excuse me, but were you just a singing telegram?" I turned to find this gentleman, his wife, and their three daughters facing me and replied in the affirmative. The man broke into a big satisfied grin and said, "You sang at our Wedding 22 years ago at the Lawrence Jewish Center! You were a gorilla in a tuxedo!"
"How did you know it was me if I was a gorilla then and now I'm in street clothes?"
"I recognize your voice!", he said
"You've been busy!" I said, noting the three girls. "Well.........Mazel tov!" I said as I walked away.
"That's what you said 22 years ago!", he shouted.
What a week!
Kerry
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