Tuesday, August 23, 2011

"Gram of the Week (5/16/11 - 5/22/11)

"IT'S RAINING, IT'S POURING, THE OLD MAN IS SNORING........"

And sometimes things don't go exactly as planned. Sean's Mom and Dad are divorced....VERY divorced. Apparently they don't speak to one another, so communication is a huge issue both among the family and I would assume anyone who interacts with them....like me. Sean's up here in New York with Dad while Mom is down in Florida on vacation. He just graduated from Boston University and it's his Birthday.


Mom wanted to surprise him with a Rapping Gorilla at his father's house early in the morning before he got up and started his day. Sean's sister was also going to be at the house and knew I was coming (we always have to have a contact person if the sender is not going to be at the delivery site).


So that begs the question; Why did the door go unanswered early on a Tuesday morning in May in the middle of a torrential rainstorm on Long Island? It was pouring out....I rang the doorbell....I knocked....I pounded....I called every number on my cell phone.....nothing.


I could even hear the dog barking loudly inside. Sean, his sister, and his father were home. All the cars were out front. I go back to my car and call Mom in Florida, who tried to tell me I must be at the wrong house, because she spoke to her son some 30 minutes earlier. "Try again", she said.


Remember, I'm dressed in a full-bodied gorilla costume, with black leather jacket, bling, and a Yankee baseball cap...and the rain is teeming.


Doorbell....knock....pound....call....dog barking....rinse....repeat.....Nothing. Nada. ZIP.


I'm soaked.....the telegram in my hand is saturated. The ink has run on the paper. 20 minutes of this. I'm beginning to think I must be a masochist to endure anymore. Sean is clearly not coming to the door or they're all dead!


Completely flummoxed and frustrated, I start to walk back to the car, when the front door opens. Dad is standing there in t-shirt and shorts, soaked in sweat, and breathing heavy. "What the hell's going on?" he yells. "I'm downstairs working out, the dogs are barking, and my daughter has been screaming for 20 minutes to get the g-d damned door!"


Suddenly, I get very calm. I take the gorilla head mask off (it had been on the whole time) and ask to see Sean. "He's in the shower", he barks.


I tell him I have a singing telegram for Sean for his Birthday, sent from his Mother, and that Sean's sister knew I was coming, having arranged it with her Mom the day before. I see the disgust in his face every time I mention his ex-wife.


"It's pouring out....I'm soaked....Do you mind if I wait inside by the door here until Sean gets out of the shower?", I politely inquire.


"Yes I DO mind..... I don't know you. I don't know who you are."


"But your daughter DOES!" She helped arrange this with your ex-wife. Can't you call her down?"


"My ex-wife is crazy!", he said


I took a leap. "It's a pity you got divorced; You deserve each other. Tell Sean his Mom says 'Happy Birthday' ", I replied. You gotta draw the line somewhere.


And I turned and swam back to the car.



Kerry

Preppygrams


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