WHAT DO YOU GET THE GIRL WHO HAS NOTHING ( I mean who WEARS nothing)?
A singing pink gorilla, of course! Taylor Vixen was the 2010 Penthouse Pet of the Year (for the sake of propriety, I'll forgo the usual links to other sites!) Taylor was in town to do some promotional work and Café Royale, the exotic nightclub in Farmingdale, was hosting her and discovered it was her Birthday. One of my good customers, John, who manages the club and has been the subject of a number of my blogs, called me up with a last-minute SOS. Knowing I'd never refuse a last-minute request to stop at the club (for work, for WORK!), I wrote up a song highlighting her.....uh.....attributes. John instructed me to go all out and not to worry; "she makes her living in the porn industry!" After all, she recently had been on Howard Stern's Sirius XM radio show, bragging about her natural D-cups.
But all of the jokes seemed to go over Ms. Vixen's head.
One of my usual throw-away lines is to say, "I don't strip or belly dance".......[crickets]
"I've come to croon, with my own balloons"...[crickets]
"The details of your age are kinda murky
I have to say you're looking pretty...perky!"...[crickets]
"PURE Night Club's host"
You are the most
There's nothing finer
Than your.........shapely body!"........[crickets]
The patrons liked it. John liked it. Well, I guess that was the most important thing; keep the customer happy!